M lik, in2 thousand of thotz 2nyt... vl try 2 put down few f dem...
well 2 start f wid... vry 1st question arose in mah mind iz... "m i so vella 2 write dis crapshit down"... n d vry nxt moment mah mindz micro-processor answerd me..."yeahhhh"....
so accepting d fact i wd 1st luv 2 discuss mah vellapanti...
dis-interest in studies(whch m suppose 2 do ryt nw, bt feel 2 contended n brainy enuf 4 dat)...
no1 wrthwhile on fb (it happens!!)...
nowhr 2 go n hangout (already had enuf f it n seen a lot)...
slpless (coz m nt drunk 4 a change.. trying 2 control it bhai :-))...
meaningless cell phone(already had a chat wid dad n no1 else wrthwhile enuf iz der , morovr m jus 2 sick of holding it nxt 2 mah earz since class 12th)...
want mor???
naaah??? so lets leave it..!!!
Being in2 a settled lyf (getting plenty f money 4 sheer nuthing), i shd b happy...ryt??? bt m nt... y?? i donno!!!
mayb i want mor...bt wot??? i donno!!!
Bt all i knw iz...stagnation sucks... evn if m sitting in las vegas... i vl seek change...n dat justifies y m so gotdamn thotful...
If i m at peace station n wrking, aftr sum dayz i wd luv 2 relax... if m in field n relaxing,aftr sumtym i wd luv 2 wrk!!!
Bt things don go as u plan...
true!!! i accept dat!!!
so der got 2 b sum solution....
well...
well...
DONNO ...
Considering odrz at mah place... dey r mor satisfied... den y m nt???
lemme chk...aaaaa.... yeah...
dey rnt btr dan me professionally newayz...
dey don gift Honda city to der dad, lik i hv giftd...
dey don hv courage 2 hug ppl less dan der standards, lik i hv done...
dey hvnt seen human character, lik i hv seen...
dey dont smile back 2 ppl who stabbed dem few dayz bck, lik i do...
dey don stand tall without a sense f fear in front of senior offcrz evn if dey r wrng, lik i do...
dey don keep honour code in der wallets, lik i do...
dey don do all dat iz shwn in movies whch a guy do 4 a gal, lik i hv done...
dey dont gift stangers nething, lik i do...
dey lie 2 parents n frnds, unlik me...
dey cheat, unlik me...
dey hv hollow hearts, unlik me...
dey run 4m responsibilities, unlik me...
dey don die 4 frndz n relatives, unlik me...
n so many thing dey do..... unlik me...
>>>den y m i less satisfied??....
aaaa....yeah... dey love sleeping, eating n doing wot i generally don prioritize...
aaaa....yeah... few f dem hv Gf'z...
(well i m sick f dem... dey incur mor loss dan d comfort of "having sum1"...)
so again... answer iz ...
"I DONNO"...
Well u hv jus witnessed d preface f mah thotz...
derz lot mor 2 come...
Mayb i cn hv certain dreamz ( self made targets 2 giv meaning 2 mah lyf)...
Cliff jumping... (NORWAY...i vl visit u soon!!)...
Para jumping...(aah... already done dat!!)...
Flying a chopper... (vl do it in aviation soon)...
Shooting a terrorist down... (again... RR iz on d cards)...
Fyting a war... (godknwz...oopz... d kurta-paijama party knwzz)...
B a gud offcr... (u doubt??)...
B a well knwn offcr... (already half way thu)...
B a gud son (ask mah parents)...
B a gud frnd (ask mah frnds)...
B a gud helpful-stanger (ask dose who donno my full name yet seek my help neday netym)...
Hv a gud Gf...(not possible, coz m 2 torn 4 dat 4m inside... cnt take chances nemor)...
Hv a nice wife... (unlik odrz, my Gf wd hv bn mah wife, if she wd hv bn der)...
Hv kids... (mayb vl adopt few)...
Hv a Dog... ( vry soon,coz no1 luvz u mor dan u urslf n ur DOG)...
N thousandz mor targets cn b set n shot!!!
Hey bt u knw... m feeling gud aftr writting all dis... emptied mah heart out...
I desrve mor... I desrve btr...
n 1 day i vl definately smile 4m mah heart... inshah-allah!!!!(God don say nething!!!... m an athiest n hv freedom f speech... so its Allah dis tym... Hope u don mind :-))
Thanx 4 reading...
(i know i said initially dat i wish no1 readz dis)...
Bt eventually, mah wishes nvr comes true :(... so hw cld dis 1 hv bn fulfilled dis tym... :(